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The Wedding Wingman

Here’s a fun fact about weddings- the bride is going to be SUPER STRESSED OUT under that seemingly calm demeanor. She wants her wedding day to be perfect. Not just for herself and her groom to be, but for all those in attendance. It’s the fairy tale ball she’s been dreaming of, and she is the princess. So how do you ease her burden? Of course, she will put you in charge of overseeing certain parts of the wedding like the music, the food, etc. while she tends to as much as she can, while also participating in the day’s ceremonies. But what about those unforeseen mishaps? Those that she has forgotten to consider while meticulously planning each and every detail? We are talking about the wedding guests! The only things that cannot be planned for are the little things that some wedding guests do that might send the bride (and her planning team) through the roof. It’s time to step up for your bridal bestie, so help her out by preparing for these inevitable wedding gaffes by guests:


A major issue involves a guest bringing along a person who was never invited in the first place, somebody that the bride or groom (or both) really don’t like, or simply somebody who wasn’t accounted for! Here’s what you need to do: make sure that the bride isn’t blindsided by this person in public. Let her know immediately so that she has her game-face on (that serene bridal smile) and make arrangements for the extra seating/food and other necessities so that the presence of the uninvited guest doesn’t affect her in the slightest. Help her be the gracious host who was (seemingly) delighted by the extra guest, and then slowly guide them away (maybe introduce them to people at the other end of the room) so that the bride can keep enjoying herself.


The difference between an uninvited guest and a wedding crasher is that the latter are usually strangers just looking for a good time with the hope of piggy backing on your celebrations while getting some free food and drinks. If you spot a suspected gate crasher, before doing anything else, confirm that they are, in fact, gate crashers. The worst thing you could do is mistakenly ask an invited guest to leave just because you and your circle don’t know them personally. Once you confirm that they are, in fact, not the friends of the groom’s sister’s neighbour’s cousin (or whatever far fetched explanation they come up with), feel free to politely ask them to leave; Or, if you’re busy tending to other things to make your bestie’s day special, ask a relative in charge or even the staff to do so instead.


Similarly help the couple handle rude guests with the same amount of grace. The key factor here is to make sure that nothing spoils the bride and groom’s big day. Keep things as light and fun as possible, and try to divert any negative comments away from the happy couple. There will most likely, as we usually observe, be a guest or two who complain about the food. They either didn’t like the selection or simply have opinions which they do not hesitate to share very loudly. Like a bodyguard, you need to neutralize the situation before anyone gets hurt or upset. Depending on the way things begin to unfold, talk to the food critic in question and try to guide them away from the centre of attention. Offer them a drink, a dessert, or simply change the subject somehow. Your friends are getting married and this should not be the thing to ruin their celebrations.


It’s that magical moment, the bride and groom are about to officially be announced as husband and wife for the first time in front of all those near and dear to them. All eyes are on the newlyweds when some guests decide to make their entrance, audibly apologizing for being late, complaining about the traffic and asking for a cool beverage to counter the effects of the weather outside. So what do you do? You guessed it, the bride’s inner circle must be ready to tackle this disturbance so that all eyes and ears remain on the newly betrothed couple.

Special Tip: Have some waiters or ushers stationed at the doors during this crucial moment, ready with drinks and a plan to lead the late comers to a designated seating area where they will not disrupt the day’s proceedings.


The bride and groom have painstakingly chosen a playlist that spells the perfect combination of class, sophistication, as well as fun dance numbers that they feel are in keeping with the theme and tonality of their well planned wedding. They’ve created a list for the wedding ceremony, the reception, there are songs picked out for the sangeet, everyone is excited and the couple is finally at peace with no more worry needed on the matter. Enter that one guest (or unfortunately more than one) who decides that he or she needs to liven up the party with their favourite Bappi Lahiri song, “You are my chicken fry” or “Gold Digger” by Kanye West. Make it clear right at the beginning that the DJ is not accepting requests, unless the bride and groom specifically tell you that they don’t mind otherwise.


Now this one applies more to you and your gang than others. Yes, you need to protect your best friends from yourselves as well!

Let’s review, it has been a successful night so far, you have managed to make sure that the entire wedding has gone off smoothly for the couple and it’s now time to enjoy the celebrations with your friends! You let your hair down and start chatting away, “Hey do you remember that hilarious time that the bride accidentally…” STOP. Stop yourself right there. Usually the bride and groom are left red faced in front of their relatives as you innocently talk about their various exploits over the years. Trust us, don’t do it. You’ll have plenty of time to reminisce later with your intimate group of friends. Now we’re not saying that you should sit quietly and not talk about fond memories, we just mean that there is a time and place for different types of humour, depending on the people within earshot. Let’s have fun but also keep our “formal event” hats on the entire time.

Similarly, when you see other guests begin to do the same or notice someone start to divulge information that is too personal about the bride or groom (you can see that he/she is cringing with embarrassment), simply change the subject or divert attention away from the topic.

We don’t realize how heavy a task it will be on US when our loved ones are getting married, but hey, we only want what’s best for them and will make darn sure that we do everything in our power to help them have a wonderful wedding!

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    May 30, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    I’m so glad you guys wrote on this aspect ! After months of planning and preparation, the “stage managing” of the actual events is so necessary for a wedding to go off smoothly! Bless the watchful friends, sisters, brothers, who take the trouble to ensure this!

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